I Am The Dad

Stuff My Kid Says

2010-12-11T13:28:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile since a full on blog post. I am STILL the Dad and He is still the son. But an amazing thing happens to your children they grow and change and morph at a phenomenal rate. When Aidan was born, I felt very much THE DAD. He was so small and helpless and needy and......cute. Then things got busy and he actually needed me to do stuff so that he could actually, well, survive. So blogging became less possible as real interactions grew.

Any parent knows the rest of the story...they learn to crawl, then walk, then talk, then converse, strategize, manipulate, then they go to pre-school and learn MORE and eventually they know.....EVERYTHING. That's exactly what was declared at the dinner table the other night: "You know what?". "What?". "I Know Everything".

These words-coupled with the fact that i-tunes erased every note I took about Aidan's vocal declarations (3 years worth!)-have compelled me to start a new Twitter stream: @STUFFMYKIDSAYS4.

Raising of the Healing Winds Tee Pee

2010-05-15T12:29:00.001-07:00

Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Today we had an exciting day! We live near Mt. Greylock, the highest mountain in Massachusetts and today they were celebrating the re-opening of the Summit Lodge (Bascom Lodge). As part of the celebration the public was invited to come and help raise a ceremonial Tee Pee. So, after eating breakfast and doing the typical Saturday recycling trips, we packed a lunch and headed for the hills!

We reached the summit at about 10:30. The event was scheduled from between 11-1pm. We went into Bascom Lodge to take a peak the renovations. It's a beautiful lodge which is worth staying at for any hiker/camper. The views from it are breathtaking.

There were very few people around but there were three people milling about on the porch of the Lodge where we went to take in the view. It turns out that one of the three, Susan Jameson, was the wife of the man who would be bringing the Tee Pee. We introduced ourselves and the rest is history. We spent the next 2 hours, helping documentary film maker (and Susan's husband) Fidel Moreno to raise the Tee Pee. Fidel is a wonderful man filled with spirit, humor and integrity. He treated Aidan with the utmost respect and gave him many simple tasks to perform. Along the way he taught about the many symbols found within the Tee Pee architecture-mainly about the convergence of the Mother and Father.

After the Tee Pee was raised, those that were watching were invited inside where Fidel explained more about the Tee Pee, his ancestry, and the significance of the Tee Pee in Native American cultures. By the way, Fidel and Susan are owners of Healing Winds, a non-profit organization dedicated to spreading the message of peace.

Afterward we ate our lunch overlooking the world from 3491 ft!

See the rest of the set RAISING OF THE HEALING WINDS TEE PEE here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/massarts/sets/72157624066744490/

Learning To Ride

2010-04-21T07:41:00.001-07:00

learning to ride
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

We bought Aidan his first bike this week. We all refer to it as the RED ROCKET. He's so proud of it. His maiden voyage on the Ashuwillticook Rail Trail was April 19th. He rode 3 miles on a beautiful, sunny, early spring day.

He's growing up so fast and it's a pleasure to witness him bloom. His grandma recently asked, "What happened to the little boy that used to live here?" His response was, "I bloomed" ( a reference to the book titled Leo the Late Bloomer which he likes).

Digital Native

2010-04-17T16:32:00.001-07:00

Digital Native
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Aidan at Age 4. He loves Dinosaurs and "Space". His knowledge and interest in learning is so awe inspiring. He declared that he wants to be a 'Space Paleontologist' and, who knows, maybe that job title will exist in the future?!?. He can correctly name planets in our solar system in order of their proximity to the Sun and he's hip to which dinosaurs are carnivores or herbivores and which time period in the Mesozoic Era they hail from.

In this photo he's listening to Lady Gaga's Poker Face on one i-pod nano and playing with a dinosaur app on an i-pod touch. Learning has reached a new dimension. So many possibilities in the digital realm!

Feeling His Oats

2009-10-18T05:23:00.001-07:00

feeling his oats
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

It's a pleasure to see him grow in personality and character. His sense of humor can slay you.

Contemplating Art

2009-07-16T11:48:00.001-07:00

contemplating art
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Aidan is growing up so fast. He is delightful with a great sense of flair play and humor at 3.4 years of age. Here he contemplates art at Brookgreen Gardens in South Carolina.

Some recent quotes:

"Holy Shoot!" (It began raining hard)
"I can't because I'm not an octopus" (about getting us breakfast in bed)
"I want my freakin' baba" (his milk)

Pre-School Crush

2009-05-31T10:44:00.001-07:00

friends
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Ladies and Gentlemen: It's official. Our first 'at school' crush. Mr. Aidan here (age 3) with 'Miss Mia' at Pre-school graduation.

Things I Learn from My 3 Year-Old

2009-05-29T12:18:00.000-07:00

My son, who is three, has a new hobby of building elaborate "mouse houses" on our (king size) bed with all the pillows and blankets within 20 sq. feet.. These houses appear to serve as cushioned bunkers 'just in case' the Big Mouse should come along and, well, SCARE us. The Mouse House building is important stuff with speciifc technical details that I am not privvy to no matter how hard I try to understand the intricacies of Mouse House building. I am corrected repeatedly about proper Mouse House building. I adjust. I adapt. I follow my son's instructions. I get it right! Or so I think. But the rules keep changing. The carrot gets harder to reach or it disappears completely. The "rules" become more elaborate/elusive.

That's about the time I ask if the Big Mouse is coming. Should we take cover? If I ASK the question, the answer is "No, not yet.". If I declare that, in fact, the Big Mouse is coming right now, "Quick, hide!" then it becomes a reality and my son plays along. We hide in whatever lame, half-conceived Mouse House is available at the moment. Then we share a great moment of suspense and togetherness until the Big Mouse is gone (or tickles our feet or fails to materialize altogether)

As an always-reflecting Educator, I take away these nuggets from these experiences with my son:

1- How often have I as a teacher moved the carrot (or changed the rules, or had vague lessons or no clear assessment/accountability) causing frustration for my students?

2- How often have I allowed the stronger personalities in a class to rule the day despite my best plans for learning?

3- How often have I simply and explicity declared what we're doing and held fast without fail for the benefit of all (becauseI know my intentions are good and the material is rich and worth knowing).

4- Do I stay focused on the Big Mouse? In other words, how meaningful and relevant is all the learning we're doing in the first place? Can it be better? Does it have traction? Will it be remembered and retained?

Have the habits to learn new things been instilled, stimulated and nurtured so that, I, as teacher no longer cease to be required? So that learning resides with the Learner.

Finally, since we know that an emotional experience is more memorable than an "informational" experience, to what extent are feelings of 'intimate anticipation' and 'excitement' palpable in my classroom. Is it still my classroom or is it our classroom where we all construct, deconstruct, start again, change, adapt, pause, reflect, share and start again?

We Went Snowshoeing!

2009-03-14T12:02:00.000-07:00

When Thomas and Elizabeth came to my house we decided to go snowsheing. It was great fun. We walked outside in fields and through the woods. We even saw a few snow mobiles. But my favorite part was making snow angels.

I Was A Fireman For Halloween!

2008-11-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

Halloween was fun!! I went as a Fireman!

Here's a picture of me. I went walking down my street to everyone's house and said "Happy Halloweening" and then people let me take candy which I don't really eat a lot same with cookies but still it was fun then I when I git cold we went home and then I went with Dad to get pizza at the new place and I ate a whole piece after I saw my friend Jason too!! Today I'm going to be a fireman again at Carly's house.

When A Cat Goes Missing

2008-10-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

She's gone. Our cat Sinki (shortened from Helsinki), that is. No explanation. She just vanished like the Mayans. Nobody remembers her escaping the house (she's a housecat). Yet here we are-four days on-with no cat. We've scoured the neighborhood, the attic, any nook and cranny on the outside of the house in and in the yard.

Her brother, Russell (the cat) cries for her and we all have an ache in our heart which is made all the more pointed when a two-year-old asks for an explanation or when he calls out for her as we walk the street searching.

Who knows the inner workings of cats? Why do they disappear? For what reason leaving behind a mystery that at least until now remains unsolved.

We love you Sinki. Come back home.

An American Prayer for My Son and I

2008-10-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

Dave Stewart has released the song and video called An American Prayer. This blog's authors endorse Barack Obama for President and wish fervently that American's Prayers get answered this time around.

Namaste.

I Went To The Butterfly Garden With Brendan!

2008-09-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

This week was great! I went to the Butterfly garden with my friend Brendan and his Mom, Jen. We saw so many cool butterflies. There were even goldfish under the bridge. When we got tired, we sat on the bench. Brendan was hungry so he stared at me. Then I gave him my pretzel because I remembered that Elmo said it's nice to share.

Will Ran At The Josh Billings Race!

2008-09-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

Aidan here: Today was the Josh Billings race. My Dad went really fast on his bike and then after the race, my cousin Will ran in a race, too. He did great. It was fun to watch him run. He even got a ribbon at the end.

I think Will's going to come every year to the Josh Billings Race with his sister Abie and his Dad and Mom. Will's Dad is even thinking about getting a bike and riding fast with my Dad.

We went to the big party at Tanglewood when it was all over and here I am hanging out there:

Can I Kiss Your Boo Boo Heart?

2008-06-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

Dad:
He has always had a thing for Madeleine.
She's older, wiser and has good dance moves. So by the time he was two, he developed a pretty solid crush on Miss M.

Miss M. turned three yesterday and we all went to celebrate. Guess who didn't take a nap in anticipation? When we got to the party, things were great for while. The Slip N Slide, pool and swings provided solid entertainment for the half dozen kids who also came to the party (and provided a welcome break for all parents involved). But then!

It happened after cake and presents. His first broken heart. Aidan managed to get some one on one time with Madeleine at her new kitchen. He was watching her and simultaneously demonstrating his culinary skills.

As you can see by her face, something very terrible is about to happen. And did happen.

With one push to the chest and one loud exclamation of "No!", Aidan stood in bewilderment for 30 seconds or more not fully comprehending that he had been dissed. But then he got it. Then he was embarrassed. Then he realized this was very, very personal. His lower lip quivered. Then it lost all form. He walked in circles spiraling with emotion seeking Mom.

Once he spotted her, it was over. The tears and the crying were volcanic. She tried to console him but he said, "No!". This was very painful stuff and only he knew the pain he was feeling.Later on, when it was time to go, Miss M. made things right. But the damage was done . The residual pain still lingered in the background.

As I was hugging him and saying good night, Aidan was saying something I didn't understand. It sounded like "hat turd". I kept repeating it and asking him if that's what he was saying. He said no, "hod hurd". Then tears welled up in my eyes as well as my wife's eyes as we understood what he was saying. I asked, "Did you say, 'heart hurt'?" He leaned into me, hugged me tight, looked over my shoulder and, with a shuddering, small voice he said, "Yeah".

I held him close for a minute then put him at arms length and asked "Can I kiss your boo boo heart?" I did, then he took his mother's hand and went to bed.

When he awoke this morning I went right into him. I said "Good morning, handsome, how's you're heart?"

He said, "All better." Then he peed on the potty.

I Am Learning How To Chill

2008-05-31T13:04:00.001-07:00

the feet say it all 1
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Although I am a toddler, I am learning how to chill and stay off of my feet. Or, more precisely, my parents are inventing ways to keep me off my feet. The most extreme example was this past weekend when they put me on this car that went on the water called a boat.

Two things that prohibited movement: 1-it was way bouncy and 2-I can't swim yet!

So, I rolled with it. Note my hand being chill, too.

Of Rock Bands, Music, Counting and Toddlers

2008-05-10T07:47:00.001-07:00

Some bands know how to have fun. Kids love to have fun. That's why fun bands eventually make albums for kids. The latest band to do just that is the Barenaked Ladies and the album is called Snacktime. The result is a win-win situation. Young kids learn, older kids appreciate the humor and the Barenaked Ladies have (had) a blast making the album.

It's absolutely brilliant and every Mom, Dad and teacher should own a copy. Here's a video using the music from the song "7,8,9" from that album.

The Wisdom of "No!"

2008-05-10T04:48:00.001-07:00

digital native
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

He's two.
I say: "What's your name?"
He says: "No."
"How old are you?"
"No!"
"Would you like to go outside, eat pizza, and generally have a great time right now?"
"No!!!!"

See, there's wisdom in "no". As a teacher, it probably took me 5-6 years before I realized that the first answer to any question (by a student) should be "no".

There's room to compromise after that. "Yes" creates problems. I anticipate using the word "no" a lot in the coming years, lest I hear:
"But you SAID!!....."

Of Bikes, A Toddler and $10,000.00

2008-02-21T12:02:00.000-08:00

Because I ride a bike and because he has ridden behind me and my bike in his titanium satellite "wheeled tent", for most of his life he is bike-obsessed.

I don't subscribe to Velo News but a friend of mine does. He gives me his used copies when he's done. My son who is not yet two, reads the issues before I get a chance. This concerns me. It concerns me because bikes are expensive. The kinds of bikes Aidan points to with glee in Velo News and says "Dada!!" are exactly $5000.00 give or take a thousand. This, of course means I need to get two of them. One for him and one for me. I know he will insist on this by the time he is three.

It's a matter of credibility. The longer I hold out on said bikes, the less credibility I have as 1-a cyclist and 2-a father. The stakes are high! The main problem, at least for now, is that I earn exactly $1.84 per month blogging.

My current, singular goal (the one I am manifesting using methods described in The Secret) is to become a full-time writer/blogger by year's end. I figure, I can hold off on the bike purchases by then. In the meantime, though, in case The Secret turns out to be bogus, I am accepting donations-to preserve my standing as respected father/cyclist. Just e-mail me if you're in the mood to drop ten grand for "charity".

Snot Removal in Macy's

2008-01-26T12:02:00.001-08:00

It happened. He sneezed. Big. We were in Macy's. Women's shoes. What to do? Like Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man my eyes squinted as I looked for the answer scanning the store. Bam! The answer. 1 o'clock. Black Pumps. With the tissue paper stuff still stuffed inside them. I pounced, unstuffed, unraveled and wiped. He smiled. And we continued on until we got to perfume. Ahhhh-Choo!! I barehanded this one and walked casually out into the Great Mall Beyond. To Pretzel-time where I stole wads of napkins and wiped. The bathroom at Best Buy worked perfectly to remove the evidence.

Back to Macy's. Men's section. Shirts. Ahhh-Chooo! I cussed. The s-word.

"Dada, shit?"

(then a few seconds of silence)

"That's right, Dada's gonna buy a shit."

In The Zone

2008-01-14T17:59:00.000-08:00

In The Zone
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

I like to play piano when Dada plays. Sometimes, I move my head around. I love music.

Toddler Takes Maiden Voyage on Bike

2008-01-12T11:14:00.001-08:00

maiden voyage
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Here's me on my bike! I love it. The new kitchen gives me so much space to ride. I find that riding barefoot is beneficial. I get some good traction this way. I put bear in the trunk so he's safe and won't fall. When I run over chips, it makes a crunch and then it makes one hundred million thousand more chips!! That's when I back up and make one hundred million thousand more chips. Then Dada picks me up WITH MY BIKE, too!! He takes me all the way to the sun room. Then he picks up the one hundred million thousand chips. After lunch, I'll bring the bike back in the kitchen, so me and Dada can play again. I'll have chips for lunch. I'll drop some and say "Uh Oh!" Tee Hee.

Do The Holidays Make You Feel Like This?

2008-01-12T11:06:00.001-08:00

too much
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Elmo came to my house! He's going to stay, too! Wow! And then I saw a bike under the light-tree-with-the-ice-and-birds. Wow. Dada said it's MINE! I rode a little while and then I saw more things under the light-tree-with-the-ice-and-birds.

I opened those things and then I got tired. So much stuff! I went to the couch. Do the holidays make you feel like this, too?

Home Improvements With A Toddler In The House

2007-12-13T13:30:00.000-08:00

Dad here: So, we're doing some home improvements. Specifically, we're doing a complete kitchen remodel. This is a time when you get to live in hell (or at least purgatory) for about a month. We did plan ahead though...the makeshift kitchen is in the garage. And the "dining room" is also the playroom, sun room, and living room. Imagine this. Now imagine this with a toddler and all of his 'stuff' strewn about (this is where the hell part comes in). Being child-centric, we thought it best to not disturbed youngster's routine (are you laughing yet).

Youngster, as he has previously reported, is pushing two years old. Only thing is, his real age is two while he is actually 21 months old. It is always a bad thing when your real age is older than your chronological age (just ask Dr. Roizen). So amidst the stuff and the trying to live like we're camping here are some recent gems:

1- Little Man Repeatedly turning the TV on and off (remote is broken) while proudly proclaiming "on", "on", "on","on". (We don't regularly watch TV, but when your house looks like ground zero and you live like a pilgrim, The Situation Room is oddly comforting and you need to watch it undisturbed for its full calming affect.)

2- Observing our handsome devil climb on top of, then stand on top of the coffee table, then stretch his arms out by his sides then smile like a devil and say "no mama" "no, mama" no, no no" (once removed, this behavior is repeated).

3- Constantly (really, constantly) making the animal train crash through the room with giraffe and monkey in tow causing me to have a severe case of get-this-freakin'-tune-out-of-my-head: "hop on board the animal train, come on every one!...learning about animals sure is lots of fun....." Oh, and I sprained my ankle on elephant the other morning....

4- My son keeps telling me about the "two dada's". I ask him about this: "Aidan, how many dada's are there?". He smiles big and says, "TWO DADAAAAAAAAAA".

Which reminds me...I need to have a chat with my wife.......about........the contractor(s).

Come, Walk With Me.....

2007-11-25T13:58:00.001-08:00

garden
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

I am growing up. I am, as they say, "SOOOOOO BIG". But, really, it's no big thing. I've moved on from all that. I'm interested in gardening now. Come, walk with me, let's see what we can see....

Full Blown Cheesy Face

2007-11-25T13:51:00.001-08:00

cheesy face
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

If you point a camera at me, I will make for you this cheesy face. Ha!

A Real, Live Bunny!

2007-11-25T13:47:00.001-08:00

with bunny
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

I never saw a real, live bunny until I went to this Garden Festival where I petted one! It was wicked soft and smooth. I love bunnies! This one was a she. She looked like she was chewing on something but I looked at her mouth and there wasn't anything there, then I realized, she probably had some bubble gum. Next time, I'm going to see of she'll blow a bubble!

Avon Calling Males

2007-11-25T13:39:00.001-08:00

avon calling males
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

I'm getting close to being two years old now. I was reading about college expenses and gas prices. Then I saw this article" "Avon Calling Males". I think I'll apply so I can start working and be able to buy gas and go to college.

Artist at Work

2007-09-28T18:38:00.001-07:00

vanity
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

I've taken up painting!

The Man Who Has No Feet And Is Really Tall

2007-08-20T17:24:00.001-07:00

juxtaposition
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

"Those are some freakin' weird looking feet tall man!"
Taken at Millennium Park, Chicago August, 2007. After a week from home attending his Uncle's wedding, we wanted him to blow off steam. He visited the Lincoln Park Zoo and then Millennium Park where his mind was blown by the public abstract art.

The Day Carly Made Out With Me

2007-07-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

As a rule, I'm very modest about my looks. I know I'm a cute baby but that doesn't make my head swell. But I know that Carly likes me. A lot. Today, she made out with me. It was kind of overwhelming. She pursued me from the top of the picnic table. There was nowhere I could run. Before I knew it, she planted one straight on my face.

It was wet and I could tell she had applesauce earlier. All in all, though, it was cool. Wait 'til I tell her I'm married!

I Can Walk!!!

2007-07-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! I can walk! I can walk. Today, I went to the park with my friends. Some of them have been walking for a few weeks already. I decided to try it out. I was a little wobbly but I did it!! This is great. Now I can walk all the way back to the slide ladder and go up and down all day!

Walking Rocks!

I Like Big Dogs!

2007-07-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

Even though I have 2 cats I like dogs. My friends have these really really big dogs! This is me with one of them. One of here eyes doesn't work but I love her anyway.

Girl Babies Rock!

2007-07-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

My Parents had friends over the house. They have a girl baby! One thing led to another and we wound up in the bath together. It was amazing. We pretended to be medieval kings and queens. I proposed marriage right there on the spot. What a day!

Slides Rock!

2007-07-12T11:26:00.000-07:00

These things are cool.
I sit down and fly fast fast fast!!
Dad or Mom catch me and I get to do it again
and again
and again
and again
and again
and again..............................................................................................!

Glasses Are The Thing

2007-07-12T11:22:00.001-07:00

I have an obsession with glasses!

Where's Mom?

2007-07-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

Baby (almost toddler) Aidan stands up now and moves along the periphery of furniture, etc.. He also has become quite attached to whichever Parent spends the most time with him. These days it's Mom who took a part time tutoring gig in the afternoons. This photo was snapped right after she left to tutor. I had just come home from work.

Dads: Don't fret if baby seems to like Mom more. It's not necessarily true and there will be times he/she wants you.

First Year Dad-Top Ten List

2007-04-22T06:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a year. Are you kidding? Sometimes it feels like he was born yesterday. Then again, at other times, I feel like he was born eons ago and this has been the longest year EVER. Such is the role of parenting: experiencing/feeling/perceiving polar opposite realities simultaneously on a regular basis.

This is typified in the statement 'parenting is the hardest job you'll love.' Cliche or not, it's true for me. Here's my top ten list which may or may not be useful for new Dad's everywhere:

1-Understand that the definition of Down Time will change dramatically. Down Time nowadays is going to the bathroom, mowing the lawn, driving to the grocery store, going to work. Really.

2-Sleep as much as you can. Resist the temptation to stay up late working on that iTunes playlist....baby will decide to get up at 5:30 tomorrow.

3-Realize that your priorities will change. You won't resent this..in fact, it's a huge relief. Stuff that seemed like huge problems in the past will simply become mild annoyances. This includes problems at work. NOTHING matters more than the Big Picture of your Fatherhood!

4-You'll catch yourself checking out families that you see out in public.

5-You will learn and know the definition of unconditional love. This is automatic on the birth of your baby. You thought you knew. But, oh no, sir....not until the baby is born.

6-You will appreciate your wife/spouse in ways that were never before possible because the connection is deeper now. Period.

7-You thought you had a lot of stuff? Nothing compares to baby gear! Good Luck packing for that first trip. That's an adventure in and of itself. And just when the car is packed, you'll be asked if you packed the excer-saucer yet? Um, no, I didn't. Add 1 more hour to the packing.

8-You'll actually not mind removing snot from baby's face. (Full disclosure: I used my bare hand to achieve this on the streets of Washington D.C.). Trust me: this won't seem so gross at a future time.

9-You'll discover that like puppies, babies attract women. Baby=chick magnet. Who knew?? Granted, you're too tired and too committed to your family to consider a dalliance but the attention's nice.

10-Nothing will EVER be the same again. Enjoy the ride. And Welcome aboard.

I Have An Idea For Halloween!

2007-04-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

Just as My Aunt put this silly hat on my head at Easter 2007, I had an instant idea for Halloween this year...I'll go as Huckleberry Finn!

Food and Deep Thought Go Hand in Hand

2007-04-08T17:54:00.001-07:00

Master Aidan is showing a deep love for food. he's quite serious about his eating as you can see here. Which is fantastic. I love cooking primarily because I love eating.

Thankfully, he has no problem with our quasi-veggie lifestyle. Some favorites of his: Hummus, Wheat Pitas, Gardenburgers, Veggie Cheese, Grapes, Bananas, Dates, Chicken Sausage, Applesauce and Broccoli.

Cheesy Smile

2007-04-08T17:49:00.001-07:00

Humor is becoming evident at 13 months.

Being a Dad: One Year On

2007-03-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a year. Our baby boy is no longer a baby. He practices independence at every turn. He nearly walks. Soon he will run. He has favorites. He has preferences. He tries to communicate and gets frustrated. He melts people with one look or one smile. He spreads happiness wherever he goes.

He longs to go "out" and shares when he's desiring a change of scene: "All Done." I spend every possible moment with him. We play, go for walks, watch Baby Einstein together and we've been known to go out to eat together...Father and Son. Once, we went to the local diner at 7 am in feet pajamas. That was an excellent social experiment. It really taxed the brains of the 'old folks' who were regulars. "A young man with a baby? How sad, do you think the wife passed...?"

So what have I learned and how have I changed? The first thing I learned is related to the diner story above: People, especially older women, are incredibly and ignorantly biased against active Fathers. In the first few months of Aidan's life, I thought about blogging this dozens of times. It seemed nearly every day I was indirectly insulted by a "well meaning" woman (typically aged 45+). Whether it was the assumption of ineptitude, "You better be helping your wife!" or False, condescending praise: "You're doing a good job, ha ha ha..." (as in, isn't that cute, he's trying to take care of the baby, ha ha ha). My favorite, though, would be the women who after hearing the baby cry in public would automatically say, "What did you do to him? Better get him home to his Mom (presumably, that's where he belongs?)

Granted, Parenthood is about learning. Nobody, man or woman, is prepared for the immense difficulty, challenges and rewards of Parenthood. These days, however, most couples are approaching the task as a duo, sharing and juggling the job as needed. That's certainly what we have done. There is no assumption that my wife is the expert and my job is just to bring in the money. Far from it...We Both read to him, play with him, change him, love him. It's about us loving our child and giving him a strong foundation of support from a Man and a Woman: His Parents.

Second, Preparation for Parenthood pales in comparison to the real thing. I am of the opinion that it is impossible to know true unconditional love without being a Parent. I used to think prior to becoming a Parent that people were just being glib when they used to say, "you have no idea....". But it's true. You don't have a clue. The sacrifice, lack of sleep, unpredictability of it all is only learned on the job. So, Oprah, lose the "Hardest Job In the World" crap. YOU HAVE NO CLUE! To those of us in the know, you ARE being glib. And you, especially, don't have a clue about what it is to be a Working Father! Why is it only hard to be a Working Mother? That is well intentioned but, ultimately, biased thinking.

Third, I see the world differently. Period. There is always something greater than the situation I am in at the moment. That Something Greater is the fact of my Fatherhood and my Forever-Connection to my precious and beautiful son. I love him. I want him safe. I want him happy. Every minute of every day. Period. Everything else is, um, Not. So Important.

My life is deeper. My life is richer, Being a Dad.

Savor The Taste, Do Not Rush

2007-03-04T15:32:00.001-08:00

yummy
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

This picture was taken on my first birthday. I am demonstrating the importance of taking your time while tasting food.

My "cake" was a banana muffin with cream cheese frosting. It was most enjoyable.

New England Boy

2007-03-04T15:29:00.001-08:00

new england boy
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

As you see here, I have obtained my first flannel shirt. This particular shirt makes a sartorial statement. For example, you can identify that I probably don't live in a city.

I will send this picture to Fisher Price as an ad suggestion. What do you think?

I'm 11 Months Old Now

2007-02-10T11:45:00.000-08:00

At 11 months, I have come a long way. I have been crawling for awhile now and have gained the ability to hold myself up. I can stand for about half a second before a plop down. But I'm working on it.

Something fun to do is drop stuff off my highchair while captivating my Mom, Dad or some other person with charm. For example, I will smile intently while sneaking a piece of toast off the side of the high chair. I listen for it to hit the floor, then I crack up. It's great fun.

When I'm finished, I put an innocent, almost confused face on and say 'all done'. My parents melt when I do this. They think it's so cute. It cracks me up how gullible they are. Don't get me wrong. I like them and think they're cool but they don't know stuff I do-like they don't know about all the cool things under the refrigerator and stove.

Peekaboo

2007-02-09T16:13:00.001-08:00

peekaboo
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Boo!

Eating Out

2007-01-30T18:30:00.001-08:00

eating out
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

As you can see, I enjoy fine dining out while reading the latest novels. Here, I enjoyed peas, carrots, kidney beans and kashi o's while learning that babies have happy smiles and that, sometimes, babies cry. I am not unlike these babies that I read about which encourages me.

My Hippo Rubber Mat serves as a prophylactic, protecting me from icky public germs. Also, I am free to hand feed myself which is my preference. You should try it! My Big Duck Bib keeps me sweater clean while I do this. Neat, really.

You should go out to eat like me. It's great fun. Oh, and did you know daddies love their babies? Mommies love their babies, too.

My Birthday is Soon!

2007-01-28T12:23:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be ONE! I look WAY different now than I did last year. You can see for yourself here.

My favorite book now is Good Night Cape Cod
and, as you can see, Chicks dig me. Especially 90 year old ones. I smile at them.

Sweater Man

2006-11-09T18:41:00.000-08:00

sweater
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

I am a charmer.
You can see this in the photograph.
Stare into my eyes and I will win you over.
There is no resisting my charismatic nature.
You will fall mercilessly at my feet and entertain my every whim.

My girlfriend's name is Carly. She was born 4 days before me. At baby class, I pat her bum when she crawls near me. She giggles when I do that. Then I smile the way I'm smiling here. That's the smile that makes Carly crawl near in the first place.

I crawl, too. The cat's bowls are cool so I crawl to them. Dad drags me backwards when I do that but I crawl back to the cat bowls anyway because, as I said, I find them to be cool. I'll do this for an hour or so before Dad swipes me up and puts me in my saucer where I watch Baby Einstein Neighborhood Animals.

EIEIO!

Oh, I entered a Baby Gap contest. Wish me luck! And vote for me!!

Tigger

2006-11-09T17:55:00.000-08:00

tigger 1
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

1st Halloween=Tigger.
I played in the front yard before the neighborhood kids came by. I did not go trick-or treating as there's no point to it. I just started eating real food. Candy's not part of my diet. I loves peas, sweet potatoes, avocados, carrots, white beans, kidney beans, grapes, chicken, chickpeas apples and especially blueberries which I like to mash all over my face.

Babysitter Interview

2006-11-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

babysitter interview
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

I'm not so sure I'm hip to this babysitter thing. Here, I interview my very first one. Notice the look of cautious regard. These are very delicate matters.

Grandpa Gives Bottle

2006-10-12T17:16:00.000-07:00

Grandpa loves me and gave me my bottle in Shelburne Falls on this beautiful fall afternoon. It happened to be Grandma's birthday!! I love when Grandma and Grandpa can visit me. Then I can play Whoop-de-doo with Grandpa on his knee!

Pumpkin Patch

2006-10-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

pumpkin
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Is this calendar material, or what? Living in New England has it's pleasures and this is one of them-taking a weekend drive in autumn to view the foliage and play in a pumpkin patch!

Hiking Baby!

2006-08-27T17:19:00.000-07:00

Hiking Baby!
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Dad used to walk around with me in the Baby Bjorn. I have graduated to a backpack so we went camping in the Adirondacks! Here, I get a lift from Mom during a long hike.

I'm Big Enough!

2006-08-27T17:18:00.000-07:00

I'm Big Enough!
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

At 5 months, baby just fits in the hiking backpack. Here, he's about to go hiking with Dad and Mom!

A Quiet Moment With Mom

2006-08-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

A Quiet Moment With Mom
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

In the Adirondacks, Mr. Aidan would watch the sunset before heading off to the tent to sleep in his pack and play

Discovering Buckles

2006-08-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

Discovering Buckles
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Aidan is growing cognitively by leaps and bounds. Here he sports his first "big boy" sweatshirt while he examines his jogging stroller buckle in the Adirondacks.

Babies Make Mommies Happy

2006-08-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

for you
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

On this particular morning around 4 months, we got up early and let Mom sleep in. Around naptime we took a drive and went to Tunnel City Coffee in Williamstown, then to the Farmer's Market where we bought a beautiful sunflower for Mom. Here, Aidan presents the flower to Mom. I love the look of sincerity on his face. (Mom cried).

I Am The Dad

At Bob's Country Kitchen

2006-06-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

window
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Here, I visit Bob's Country Kitchen. My Uncle and Dad have childhood memories here. They wanted to introduce Bob's to the next generation. Me!

Sadface

2006-06-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

sadface
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Nearing bedtime, we display the classic "lip" and sadface. Do I have to sleep?

Bouncy Chair

2006-06-25T13:49:00.000-07:00

question
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

At three months, the bouncy chair=independence. See it in his expression?

In The Hood

2006-06-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

in the hood
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

With a larger body comes a wider variety of clothing options. Here's some Urban-Inspired couture.

Break Dancing

2006-06-03T19:33:00.000-07:00

break dancing
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Learning to manipulate one's body is apparently tough work and provides endless humor. Here, the young man looks to be earnestly break dancing. In truth, he's trying to roll over.

Check out the VIDEO!

Post Workout

2006-04-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

Post Workout
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

One of my favorite moments with my son is when he "stretches" with me and rests on my chest.

Grandma Beams

2006-04-28T18:15:00.000-07:00

Grandma Beams
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Grandma can't get enough of "her baby". The feeling appears mutual!

What's that thing?

2006-04-28T18:10:00.000-07:00

What's that thing?
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Reaching comes around the same time as smiling: Just before 2 months. My nose becomes a favorite toy.

Daddy's Eyes

2006-04-28T18:02:00.000-07:00

Killer Eyes
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

The consensus is: He has Dad's eyes! But he's much more handsome.

Killer Smile

2006-04-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

Killer Smile
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Smiles appear week 7!! Wow. He can melt me with just one. I always look forward to smiles in the morning.

Getting Informed

2006-04-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

Getting Informed
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

Here, the young man spends some quality time with his Aunt.

Peace

2006-04-10T17:41:00.000-07:00

peace
Originally uploaded by dharmacat.

This is what it is all about. Rather, HE is what it's all about. The shift of focus from self to him has been most welcome in my efforts in general to attempt to live unbounded by the egoic mind.

Tolerance

2006-04-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

tolerance
Originally uploaded by massarts.

Nearly a month on, the cat begins to realize this strange being is sticking around for awhile. Makes a great poster for "tolerance".

zzzzzzz

2006-04-02T18:30:00.000-07:00

zzzzzzz
Originally uploaded by massarts.

My son offers me much education in presence, meditation and being.

Call Waiting

2006-04-02T18:18:00.000-07:00

Perspective
Originally uploaded by massarts.

As you can see, we have progressed quite a bit-we've gone high tech. All those extended family members calling to check on me wipes us out.

We're one month old here

PostBath

2006-04-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

peekaboo
Originally uploaded by massarts.

Turns out we dig the bath. And water in general as long as it is warm. We take walks now every weekend morning and a few days a week in the snuggly.

Turns out carrying a baby around is a real "chick magnet". Who knew?

First Bath

2006-04-02T18:14:00.000-07:00

waah
Originally uploaded by massarts.

Not the happiest of moments as we tried to figure out whether we were into the bath thing.

Sustenance

2006-04-02T18:12:00.000-07:00

food
Originally uploaded by massarts.

Aidan: Food is my favorite pasttime.

2 weeks on

2006-04-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

out
Originally uploaded by massarts.

Aidan is doing well though he lost some weight while learning how to breastfeed correctly. This shot is precious.

Home Sweet Home

2006-04-02T18:08:00.000-07:00

dream
Originally uploaded by massarts.

1st day home: We were discharged from the hospital within 47 hours of Aidan's birth. Paraphrasing Stephen Sondheim: It was scary and exciting at the same time. What to do? No more assistance? Talk about on the job training just when you're too exhauasted to even think.

Any new parent would appreciate this--we stared at him for hours on end like mannequins.

Hello World

2006-04-02T18:03:00.000-07:00

hello
Originally uploaded by massarts.

This is my son less than 24 hours after his birth. I will spare everyone the cliches about his arrival changing my life. Simply put,it did and it has. Most notably, I now know what only parents know: the true meaning of unconditional love.

This blog will be focused on my process of being a father as it is experienced over time.