Snot Removal in Macy's

It happened. He sneezed. Big. We were in Macy's. Women's shoes. What to do? Like Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man my eyes squinted as I looked for the answer scanning the store. Bam! The answer. 1 o'clock. Black Pumps. With the tissue paper stuff still stuffed inside them. I pounced, unstuffed, unraveled and wiped. He smiled. And we continued on until we got to perfume. Ahhhh-Choo!! I barehanded this one and walked casually out into the Great Mall Beyond. To Pretzel-time where I stole wads of napkins and wiped. The bathroom at Best Buy worked perfectly to remove the evidence.

Back to Macy's. Men's section. Shirts. Ahhh-Chooo! I cussed. The s-word.

"Dada, shit?"

(then a few seconds of silence)

"That's right, Dada's gonna buy a shit."