I Was A Fireman For Halloween!

Halloween was fun!! I went as a Fireman!

Here's a picture of me. I went walking down my street to everyone's house and said "Happy Halloweening" and then people let me take candy which I don't really eat a lot same with cookies but still it was fun then I when I git cold we went home and then I went with Dad to get pizza at the new place and I ate a whole piece after I saw my friend Jason too!! Today I'm going to be a fireman again at Carly's house.

Of Bikes, A Toddler and $10,000.00

Because I ride a bike and because he has ridden behind me and my bike in his titanium satellite "wheeled tent", for most of his life he is bike-obsessed.









I don't subscribe to Velo News but a friend of mine does. He gives me his used copies when he's done. My son who is not yet two, reads the issues before I get a chance. This concerns me. It concerns me because bikes are expensive. The kinds of bikes Aidan points to with glee in Velo News and says "Dada!!" are exactly $5000.00 give or take a thousand. This, of course means I need to get two of them. One for him and one for me. I know he will insist on this by the time he is three.

It's a matter of credibility. The longer I hold out on said bikes, the less credibility I have as 1-a cyclist and 2-a father. The stakes are high! The main problem, at least for now, is that I earn exactly $1.84 per month blogging.

My current, singular goal (the one I am manifesting using methods described in The Secret) is to become a full-time writer/blogger by year's end. I figure, I can hold off on the bike purchases by then. In the meantime, though, in case The Secret turns out to be bogus, I am accepting donations-to preserve my standing as respected father/cyclist. Just e-mail me if you're in the mood to drop ten grand for "charity".

Snot Removal in Macy's

It happened. He sneezed. Big. We were in Macy's. Women's shoes. What to do? Like Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man my eyes squinted as I looked for the answer scanning the store. Bam! The answer. 1 o'clock. Black Pumps. With the tissue paper stuff still stuffed inside them. I pounced, unstuffed, unraveled and wiped. He smiled. And we continued on until we got to perfume. Ahhhh-Choo!! I barehanded this one and walked casually out into the Great Mall Beyond. To Pretzel-time where I stole wads of napkins and wiped. The bathroom at Best Buy worked perfectly to remove the evidence.

Back to Macy's. Men's section. Shirts. Ahhh-Chooo! I cussed. The s-word.

"Dada, shit?"

(then a few seconds of silence)

"That's right, Dada's gonna buy a shit."

Toddler Takes Maiden Voyage on Bike

maiden voyage
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Here's me on my bike! I love it. The new kitchen gives me so much space to ride. I find that riding barefoot is beneficial. I get some good traction this way. I put bear in the trunk so he's safe and won't fall. When I run over chips, it makes a crunch and then it makes one hundred million thousand more chips!! That's when I back up and make one hundred million thousand more chips. Then Dada picks me up WITH MY BIKE, too!! He takes me all the way to the sun room. Then he picks up the one hundred million thousand chips. After lunch, I'll bring the bike back in the kitchen, so me and Dada can play again. I'll have chips for lunch. I'll drop some and say "Uh Oh!" Tee Hee.

Home Improvements With A Toddler In The House

Dad here: So, we're doing some home improvements. Specifically, we're doing a complete kitchen remodel. This is a time when you get to live in hell (or at least purgatory) for about a month. We did plan ahead though...the makeshift kitchen is in the garage. And the "dining room" is also the playroom, sun room, and living room. Imagine this. Now imagine this with a toddler and all of his 'stuff' strewn about (this is where the hell part comes in). Being child-centric, we thought it best to not disturbed youngster's routine (are you laughing yet).

Youngster, as he has previously reported, is pushing two years old. Only thing is, his real age is two while he is actually 21 months old. It is always a bad thing when your real age is older than your chronological age (just ask Dr. Roizen). So amidst the stuff and the trying to live like we're camping here are some recent gems:

1- Little Man Repeatedly turning the TV on and off (remote is broken) while proudly proclaiming "on", "on", "on","on". (We don't regularly watch TV, but when your house looks like ground zero and you live like a pilgrim, The Situation Room is oddly comforting and you need to watch it undisturbed for its full calming affect.)

2- Observing our handsome devil climb on top of, then stand on top of the coffee table, then stretch his arms out by his sides then smile like a devil and say "no mama" "no, mama" no, no no" (once removed, this behavior is repeated).

3- Constantly (really, constantly) making the animal train crash through the room with giraffe and monkey in tow causing me to have a severe case of get-this-freakin'-tune-out-of-my-head: "hop on board the animal train, come on every one!...learning about animals sure is lots of fun....." Oh, and I sprained my ankle on elephant the other morning....

4- My son keeps telling me about the "two dada's". I ask him about this: "Aidan, how many dada's are there?". He smiles big and says, "TWO DADAAAAAAAAAA".

Which reminds me...I need to have a chat with my wife.......about........the contractor(s).

A Real, Live Bunny!

with bunny
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

I never saw a real, live bunny until I went to this Garden Festival where I petted one! It was wicked soft and smooth. I love bunnies! This one was a she. She looked like she was chewing on something but I looked at her mouth and there wasn't anything there, then I realized, she probably had some bubble gum. Next time, I'm going to see of she'll blow a bubble!

Avon Calling Males

avon calling males
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

I'm getting close to being two years old now. I was reading about college expenses and gas prices. Then I saw this article" "Avon Calling Males". I think I'll apply so I can start working and be able to buy gas and go to college.

The Man Who Has No Feet And Is Really Tall

juxtaposition
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

"Those are some freakin' weird looking feet tall man!"
Taken at Millennium Park, Chicago August, 2007. After a week from home attending his Uncle's wedding, we wanted him to blow off steam. He visited the Lincoln Park Zoo and then Millennium Park where his mind was blown by the public abstract art.

The Day Carly Made Out With Me

As a rule, I'm very modest about my looks. I know I'm a cute baby but that doesn't make my head swell. But I know that Carly likes me. A lot. Today, she made out with me. It was kind of overwhelming. She pursued me from the top of the picnic table. There was nowhere I could run. Before I knew it, she planted one straight on my face.

It was wet and I could tell she had applesauce earlier. All in all, though, it was cool. Wait 'til I tell her I'm married!

Girl Babies Rock!

My Parents had friends over the house. They have a girl baby! One thing led to another and we wound up in the bath together. It was amazing. We pretended to be medieval kings and queens. I proposed marriage right there on the spot. What a day!