Things I Learn from My 3 Year-Old

My son, who is three, has a new hobby of building elaborate "mouse houses" on our (king size) bed with all the pillows and blankets within 20 sq. feet.. These houses appear to serve as cushioned bunkers 'just in case' the Big Mouse should come along and, well, SCARE us. The Mouse House building is important stuff with speciifc technical details that I am not privvy to no matter how hard I try to understand the intricacies of Mouse House building. I am corrected repeatedly about proper Mouse House building. I adjust. I adapt. I follow my son's instructions. I get it right! Or so I think. But the rules keep changing. The carrot gets harder to reach or it disappears completely. The "rules" become more elaborate/elusive.

That's about the time I ask if the Big Mouse is coming. Should we take cover? If I ASK the question, the answer is "No, not yet.". If I declare that, in fact, the Big Mouse is coming right now, "Quick, hide!" then it becomes a reality and my son plays along. We hide in whatever lame, half-conceived Mouse House is available at the moment. Then we share a great moment of suspense and togetherness until the Big Mouse is gone (or tickles our feet or fails to materialize altogether)

As an always-reflecting Educator, I take away these nuggets from these experiences with my son:

1- How often have I as a teacher moved the carrot (or changed the rules, or had vague lessons or no clear assessment/accountability) causing frustration for my students?

2- How often have I allowed the stronger personalities in a class to rule the day despite my best plans for learning?

3- How often have I simply and explicity declared what we're doing and held fast without fail for the benefit of all (becauseI know my intentions are good and the material is rich and worth knowing).

4- Do I stay focused on the Big Mouse? In other words, how meaningful and relevant is all the learning we're doing in the first place? Can it be better? Does it have traction? Will it be remembered and retained?

Have the habits to learn new things been instilled, stimulated and nurtured so that, I, as teacher no longer cease to be required? So that learning resides with the Learner.

Finally, since we know that an emotional experience is more memorable than an "informational" experience, to what extent are feelings of 'intimate anticipation' and 'excitement' palpable in my classroom. Is it still my classroom or is it our classroom where we all construct, deconstruct, start again, change, adapt, pause, reflect, share and start again?

I Was A Fireman For Halloween!

Halloween was fun!! I went as a Fireman!

Here's a picture of me. I went walking down my street to everyone's house and said "Happy Halloweening" and then people let me take candy which I don't really eat a lot same with cookies but still it was fun then I when I git cold we went home and then I went with Dad to get pizza at the new place and I ate a whole piece after I saw my friend Jason too!! Today I'm going to be a fireman again at Carly's house.

When A Cat Goes Missing

She's gone. Our cat Sinki (shortened from Helsinki), that is. No explanation. She just vanished like the Mayans. Nobody remembers her escaping the house (she's a housecat). Yet here we are-four days on-with no cat. We've scoured the neighborhood, the attic, any nook and cranny on the outside of the house in and in the yard.

Her brother, Russell (the cat) cries for her and we all have an ache in our heart which is made all the more pointed when a two-year-old asks for an explanation or when he calls out for her as we walk the street searching.

Who knows the inner workings of cats? Why do they disappear? For what reason leaving behind a mystery that at least until now remains unsolved.

We love you Sinki. Come back home.

An American Prayer for My Son and I

Dave Stewart has released the song and video called An American Prayer. This blog's authors endorse Barack Obama for President and wish fervently that American's Prayers get answered this time around.

Namaste.

I Went To The Butterfly Garden With Brendan!

This week was great! I went to the Butterfly garden with my friend Brendan and his Mom, Jen. We saw so many cool butterflies. There were even goldfish under the bridge. When we got tired, we sat on the bench. Brendan was hungry so he stared at me. Then I gave him my pretzel because I remembered that Elmo said it's nice to share.

Can I Kiss Your Boo Boo Heart?

Dad:
He has always had a thing for Madeleine.
She's older, wiser and has good dance moves. So by the time he was two, he developed a pretty solid crush on Miss M.

Miss M. turned three yesterday and we all went to celebrate. Guess who didn't take a nap in anticipation? When we got to the party, things were great for while. The Slip N Slide, pool and swings provided solid entertainment for the half dozen kids who also came to the party (and provided a welcome break for all parents involved). But then!

It happened after cake and presents. His first broken heart. Aidan managed to get some one on one time with Madeleine at her new kitchen. He was watching her and simultaneously demonstrating his culinary skills.

As you can see by her face, something very terrible is about to happen. And did happen.

With one push to the chest and one loud exclamation of "No!", Aidan stood in bewilderment for 30 seconds or more not fully comprehending that he had been dissed. But then he got it. Then he was embarrassed. Then he realized this was very, very personal. His lower lip quivered. Then it lost all form. He walked in circles spiraling with emotion seeking Mom.

Once he spotted her, it was over. The tears and the crying were volcanic. She tried to console him but he said, "No!". This was very painful stuff and only he knew the pain he was feeling.Later on, when it was time to go, Miss M. made things right. But the damage was done . The residual pain still lingered in the background.

As I was hugging him and saying good night, Aidan was saying something I didn't understand. It sounded like "hat turd". I kept repeating it and asking him if that's what he was saying. He said no, "hod hurd". Then tears welled up in my eyes as well as my wife's eyes as we understood what he was saying. I asked, "Did you say, 'heart hurt'?" He leaned into me, hugged me tight, looked over my shoulder and, with a shuddering, small voice he said, "Yeah".

I held him close for a minute then put him at arms length and asked "Can I kiss your boo boo heart?" I did, then he took his mother's hand and went to bed.

When he awoke this morning I went right into him. I said "Good morning, handsome, how's you're heart?"

He said, "All better." Then he peed on the potty.

Of Rock Bands, Music, Counting and Toddlers

Some bands know how to have fun. Kids love to have fun. That's why fun bands eventually make albums for kids. The latest band to do just that is the Barenaked Ladies and the album is called Snacktime. The result is a win-win situation. Young kids learn, older kids appreciate the humor and the Barenaked Ladies have (had) a blast making the album.

It's absolutely brilliant and every Mom, Dad and teacher should own a copy. Here's a video using the music from the song "7,8,9" from that album.

The Wisdom of "No!"

digital native
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

He's two.
I say: "What's your name?"
He says: "No."
"How old are you?"
"No!"
"Would you like to go outside, eat pizza, and generally have a great time right now?"
"No!!!!"

See, there's wisdom in "no". As a teacher, it probably took me 5-6 years before I realized that the first answer to any question (by a student) should be "no".

There's room to compromise after that. "Yes" creates problems. I anticipate using the word "no" a lot in the coming years, lest I hear:
"But you SAID!!....."

Of Bikes, A Toddler and $10,000.00

Because I ride a bike and because he has ridden behind me and my bike in his titanium satellite "wheeled tent", for most of his life he is bike-obsessed.









I don't subscribe to Velo News but a friend of mine does. He gives me his used copies when he's done. My son who is not yet two, reads the issues before I get a chance. This concerns me. It concerns me because bikes are expensive. The kinds of bikes Aidan points to with glee in Velo News and says "Dada!!" are exactly $5000.00 give or take a thousand. This, of course means I need to get two of them. One for him and one for me. I know he will insist on this by the time he is three.

It's a matter of credibility. The longer I hold out on said bikes, the less credibility I have as 1-a cyclist and 2-a father. The stakes are high! The main problem, at least for now, is that I earn exactly $1.84 per month blogging.

My current, singular goal (the one I am manifesting using methods described in The Secret) is to become a full-time writer/blogger by year's end. I figure, I can hold off on the bike purchases by then. In the meantime, though, in case The Secret turns out to be bogus, I am accepting donations-to preserve my standing as respected father/cyclist. Just e-mail me if you're in the mood to drop ten grand for "charity".

Toddler Takes Maiden Voyage on Bike

maiden voyage
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Here's me on my bike! I love it. The new kitchen gives me so much space to ride. I find that riding barefoot is beneficial. I get some good traction this way. I put bear in the trunk so he's safe and won't fall. When I run over chips, it makes a crunch and then it makes one hundred million thousand more chips!! That's when I back up and make one hundred million thousand more chips. Then Dada picks me up WITH MY BIKE, too!! He takes me all the way to the sun room. Then he picks up the one hundred million thousand chips. After lunch, I'll bring the bike back in the kitchen, so me and Dada can play again. I'll have chips for lunch. I'll drop some and say "Uh Oh!" Tee Hee.

Do The Holidays Make You Feel Like This?

too much
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

Elmo came to my house! He's going to stay, too! Wow! And then I saw a bike under the light-tree-with-the-ice-and-birds. Wow. Dada said it's MINE! I rode a little while and then I saw more things under the light-tree-with-the-ice-and-birds.

I opened those things and then I got tired. So much stuff! I went to the couch. Do the holidays make you feel like this, too?

The Man Who Has No Feet And Is Really Tall

juxtaposition
Originally uploaded by dharmacat

"Those are some freakin' weird looking feet tall man!"
Taken at Millennium Park, Chicago August, 2007. After a week from home attending his Uncle's wedding, we wanted him to blow off steam. He visited the Lincoln Park Zoo and then Millennium Park where his mind was blown by the public abstract art.

I Can Walk!!!

Woohoo! I can walk! I can walk. Today, I went to the park with my friends. Some of them have been walking for a few weeks already. I decided to try it out. I was a little wobbly but I did it!! This is great. Now I can walk all the way back to the slide ladder and go up and down all day!

Walking Rocks!

I Like Big Dogs!

Even though I have 2 cats I like dogs. My friends have these really really big dogs! This is me with one of them. One of here eyes doesn't work but I love her anyway.

Girl Babies Rock!

My Parents had friends over the house. They have a girl baby! One thing led to another and we wound up in the bath together. It was amazing. We pretended to be medieval kings and queens. I proposed marriage right there on the spot. What a day!

Slides Rock!

These things are cool.
I sit down and fly fast fast fast!!
Dad or Mom catch me and I get to do it again
and again
and again
and again
and again
and again..............................................................................................!

Glasses Are The Thing

I have an obsession with glasses!

Where's Mom?

Baby (almost toddler) Aidan stands up now and moves along the periphery of furniture, etc.. He also has become quite attached to whichever Parent spends the most time with him. These days it's Mom who took a part time tutoring gig in the afternoons. This photo was snapped right after she left to tutor. I had just come home from work.



Dads: Don't fret if baby seems to like Mom more. It's not necessarily true and there will be times he/she wants you.

First Year Dad-Top Ten List

It's been a year. Are you kidding? Sometimes it feels like he was born yesterday. Then again, at other times, I feel like he was born eons ago and this has been the longest year EVER. Such is the role of parenting: experiencing/feeling/perceiving polar opposite realities simultaneously on a regular basis.

This is typified in the statement 'parenting is the hardest job you'll love.' Cliche or not, it's true for me. Here's my top ten list which may or may not be useful for new Dad's everywhere:

1-Understand that the definition of Down Time will change dramatically. Down Time nowadays is going to the bathroom, mowing the lawn, driving to the grocery store, going to work. Really.

2-Sleep as much as you can. Resist the temptation to stay up late working on that iTunes playlist....baby will decide to get up at 5:30 tomorrow.

3-Realize that your priorities will change. You won't resent this..in fact, it's a huge relief. Stuff that seemed like huge problems in the past will simply become mild annoyances. This includes problems at work. NOTHING matters more than the Big Picture of your Fatherhood!

4-You'll catch yourself checking out families that you see out in public.

5-You will learn and know the definition of unconditional love. This is automatic on the birth of your baby. You thought you knew. But, oh no, sir....not until the baby is born.

6-You will appreciate your wife/spouse in ways that were never before possible because the connection is deeper now. Period.

7-You thought you had a lot of stuff? Nothing compares to baby gear! Good Luck packing for that first trip. That's an adventure in and of itself. And just when the car is packed, you'll be asked if you packed the excer-saucer yet? Um, no, I didn't. Add 1 more hour to the packing.

8-You'll actually not mind removing snot from baby's face. (Full disclosure: I used my bare hand to achieve this on the streets of Washington D.C.). Trust me: this won't seem so gross at a future time.

9-You'll discover that like puppies, babies attract women. Baby=chick magnet. Who knew?? Granted, you're too tired and too committed to your family to consider a dalliance but the attention's nice.

10-Nothing will EVER be the same again. Enjoy the ride. And Welcome aboard.

I Have An Idea For Halloween!

Just as My Aunt put this silly hat on my head at Easter 2007, I had an instant idea for Halloween this year...I'll go as Huckleberry Finn!